I am confused. I am homesick. I have never felt this "homesick" before, what is this strange feeling?
The thing is, I'm not homesick per say, but there are feelings bubbling up inside me I can't deny. Asia is truly getting on my nerves.
Asia is not fulfilling all my cravings and longings, my passion for everything fashionable is being suppressed and my daily dose of glamour and street chic is non existing. There's only so much beach-look and Asia worn-downess I can take... I find my self wanting things more and more, and I dream about how I'm going to dress when I come back home, all the things I would like to buy, and all the healthy food I'd like to cook. The hardest thing is not to be able to have internet all the time, and I miss being updated on the latest news in fashion and happenings. I need my daily dose of fashion, an inevitable fact I've come to learn down here. I just learned how to cope without it for a period. That time is running out and I hate my flip flops and raggy tops more and more everyday.
I am not saying I want to come home now, I just REALLY look forward to it when I do.
Materialist forever, there's no denying it. I came here to 'discover myself', and yes, I have. I love fashion, more specifically, I love our Scandinavian fashion, everything luxurious and artsy, and even more so, I love my stuff. I am maybe not the meant to be backpacker, who will travel with a pair or worn down hiker boots, hippie shirt and fallen apart rucksack who sits in a hammock all day, staring at coconuts falling down, rotting... I like my things to be new and nice, and I like the places I stay at to be the same... The word cheap is starting to give me a bitter taste in my mouth, and I'd love to not have to bargain for every stupid little thing. Don't get me wrong; I still, and will always love to travel, but from now on (or you know, my next trip), I will do so with just a little bit of style.
So until I actually do get home and get to exchange my Havaianas for heels and worn down shorts for a blazer and skinny jeans, I will continue what I started, to discover Asia and work on my tan.